Parent at-Home Self-Care

Caring for Yourself while Supporting Your Child 

Caring for your child after your spouse has been detained (kidnaped) by ICE is incredibly stressful. Along with your concerns for your spouse, it’s important to also focus on caring for yourself and your child. Remember, while your child's well-being is a top priority, tending to your own mental and emotional health is equally essential. Taking care of yourself will help you be stronger and better able to support your child through this difficult time. 

Self-Care Tips for Parents: Activities and Resources

1. Take Deep BreathsActivity: Practice diaphragmatic (belly) breathing to help manage stress and promote relaxation.
How to do it:
  • Find a comfortable seated or lying position.
  • Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.
  • Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4, feeling your belly rise as the air fills your lungs.
  • Hold your breath for a count of 4.
  • Exhale gently and completely through your mouth for a count of 4, feeling your belly fall.
  • Repeat this cycle for about 5 minutes whenever you feel overwhelmed, or incorporate it into your morning routine when you wake up or before going to sleep.
This simple exercise can help calm your mind, reduce anxiety, and improve your overall sense of well-being.
2. Prioritize Sleep
Activity: Set a regular sleep schedule, create a calming bedtime routine, and allow yourself short naps when possible. Limit screen time before bed and create a quiet, comfortable sleep environment.
Guidelines: 
2.1. Establish a Relaxing Bedtime Routine:
  • Consistent sleep schedule:
    Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends, to regulate your body's natural sleep-wake cycle. 
  • Wind-down period:
    Dedicate the hour or two before bed to relaxing activities, like reading, turning the lighting down low, taking a warm bath, or listening to calming music.     Engage in calming routines such as listening to gentle music, practicing mindfulness or gentle stretches, or taking a warm bath to unwind before bed.
    • Resource: Guided relaxation exercises are available on apps like Calm or YouTube channels such as “The Honest Guys” for sleep meditations.
  • Avoid screens:
  • The blue light from electronic devices can interfere with sleep. Limit screen time at least an hour before bed. 
2.2. Optimize Your Sleep Environment:
  • Dark, quiet, and cool: Make sure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool (ideally between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit) to promote sleep.
  • Comfortable bed: Ensure your bed and pillows are comfortable and supportive.
  • Minimize noise: Use earplugs or a white noise machine to block out distracting sounds. 
  • Missing your partner/spouse: If unable to sleep alone, use a stuffed animal or large pillow to cuddle against. Even wrapping your partner/spouse pajamas wound the pillow to cuddle against to sleep (This is similar to the Parent Animal Comfort Activity you can use with your children.
2.3. Manage Stress Triggers:
  • Worry time:
    Schedule a specific time earlier in the day to address your worries. Writing them down can help clear your mind before bed. 
  • Relaxation techniques:
    Practice deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation to calm your mind and body. 
  • Regular exercise: Engaging in light exercise in the morning can help reduce stress and boost your mood for the day ahead. Activities like stretching, jumping jacks, or a quick walk can energize your body and clear your mind. Remember to avoid intense workouts close to bedtime, as they can interfere with your sleep. Incorporating gentle movement into your morning routine can be a simple yet effective way to feel calmer and more centered throughout the day.
  • Limit stimulants:
    Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine, especially in the hours leading up to bedtime. 
  • Mindful presence:
    If you wake up and can't fall back to sleep, get out of bed and engage in a relaxing activity until you feel sleepy. 
3. Allow Yourself to Feel
Activity: Take a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness, helping you acknowledge your emotions without judgment. Find a quiet space, sit comfortably, and focus on your breathing. You can use guided meditation apps like Headspace or Calm to assist you, or simply sit quietly and pay attention to your feelings as they arise. Notice any thoughts, fears, anger, or sadness without trying to change or suppress them—just observe. This practice can help you create a sense of calm, increase emotional resilience, and bring greater clarity during challenging times.
4. Express Your Feelings
Activity: Keep a journal, write a letter to your loved one, or create art—drawing, painting, or collage—to process your emotions. Write down or draw how you feel, something you want to share with them, that you miss them, that you cannot wait to be with them, etc. 
5. Seek Support - Talk
Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups to talk and share your feelings. Expressing how you feel with others can provide comfort and understanding. It's okay to experience difficult emotions—getting help by talking to someone can make a big difference. Consider joining local or online communities for parents or immigrant families. At the same time, try to limit exposure to social media news or other sources that may heighten your stress. Remember, reaching out is a sign of strength, and talking to someone can help lighten your emotional load.
Support and Counseling Resources
​Remember, you are not alone. Support is available to help you and your child navigate this difficult time. Taking care of yourself is a vital step toward modeling healthy behaviors and helping your child heal and build resilience.
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